YOU SUFFER BECAUSE YOU LOVE

For my first entry in 2008, I am sharing something I find very powerful and profound. These words are from Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a psychotherapist. He shared them in his keynote address at the Frontotemporal Dementia Caregiver Conference in 2005:

"You (caregiver) do not suffer because of them (person with a dementia). They have a disease, a neurological illness, that's a fact. But that's not why you suffer.

You suffer because you love. If you did not love, you would not suffer. And the more you love, the more you suffer. Problem is, when you try to do something you cannot do, or be something you cannot be, the guilt, shame, anxiety and fear makes the love go underground ... and you can't feel the love anymore. Love is learning to live with your helplessness in the face of your loved one's suffering."

I look forward to our dialogue this year. I hope you find some relief in writing your own thoughts and some comfort in the reading the words of others.

Source : By Angela Lunde