Stress And Spousal Caregiving

In sickness and in health…that was the vow you took with your spouse on your wedding day. So, you wouldn't think twice about caring for your partner now that they are in a situation where there's a growing need for your assistance. Whether it is a chronic health problem, issues with mobility or decreased cognitive function (e.g., dementia/Alzheimer's disease), your support will likely be necessary.

 

While this is a natural reaction in a loving situation, it is important to note that spousal care-giving often leads to significant changes in your marital relationship and it can sometimes leave the family caregiver feeling overwhelmed and stressed. This can be compounded if the caregiver is also taking over responsibilities that were once handled solely by their ailing spouse, from cooking and doing laundry, to balancing the cheque book and heading up the financial decisions.

 

There can also be a sense of loss, especially if your spouse suffers from dementia or Alzheimer's disease. Or, if activities that once provided pleasure and deepened a sense of connection may no longer be possible. As a care-giving spouse, you may begin to feel very isolated from friends and feel tremendous guilt about your own unmet needs. Subsequently, you take on this "labor of love" and let your own positive health habits drop off to the side, putting your own health at risk.

In fact, the Journal of American Medical Association reports that if you are a spousal caregiver between the ages of 66 and 96, and are experiencing ongoing mental or emotional strain as a result of your care-giving duties, there's a 63% increased risk of dying over those people in the same age group who are not caring for a spouse. The combination of loss and prolonged stress, the physical demands of care-giving and the health vulnerabilities that simply come with age place an older spousal caregiver in a danger zone.

 

Signs that Spousal Care-giving May Be Becoming Too Risky for You:

 

·                Missing or delaying your own doctor appointments

·                Ignoring your own health problems or symptoms

·                Not eating a healthy diet for lack of time

·                Overusing tobacco and alcohol when you feel stressed

·                Giving up exercise habits for lack of time

·                Losing sleep

·                Losing connections with friends for lack of time to socialize

·                Bottling up feelings of anger and frustration and then being surprised by angry, even violent, outbursts directed at your spouse, other family members, co-workers - even strangers

·                Feeling sad, down, depressed or hopeless

·                Loss of energy

·                Lacking interest in things that used to give you (and your spouse) pleasure

·                Feeling resentful toward your spouse

·                Blaming your spouse for the situation

·                Feeling that people ask more of you than they should

·                Feeling like caregiving has affected family relationships in a negative way

·                Feeling annoyed by other family members who don't help out or who criticize your care

 

All caregivers who experience elevated levels of stress are at an increased risk for physical and emotional issues, so it important to get support. Sometimes even the most resourceful person needs to ask for help from other family members or outside professionals or sources, such as a friend, physician, priest, etc.

 

The hardest part for many is know when to ask, since, to some, asking for help is a sign they aren't handling the situation well. The truth…your spouse/partner will be in better hands if you, yourself, are healthy. It is important to take care of yourself, while taking care of someone else.

 

(Source: http:www.caregiverstress.com)