What should you say or do if someone with Alzheimer's or another dementia is trying to wander away? For example, imagine that your father with dementia, who is living with you in your home, starts to pace around and try to go outside. Here are some practical approaches you may utilize in response.
5 Strategies to Employ:
1. Ask Him Questions In A Non-Threatening Manner
Ask him how you can help and where he's going. Perhaps he's just a bit restless and unsettled. Maybe he'll respond with an answer that will give you insight into what he's looking for or where he wants to go.
2. Don't Argue
It's almost universally not helpful to argue with someone with dementia who is intent on doing something. Arguing will likely increase his agitation because in his reality, what you're saying doesn't make any sense. Rather, just talk with him and validate3 his feelings. For example, if he is talking about needing to go to work, ask him about his job. You can ask him what he liked the most about his job, or talk about the benefits of retirement.
3. Remember Your Non-Verbals
If you're standing there with your hands on your hips and a frustrated look on your face, you'll have less success in persuading your loved one to do anything. The words that you speak may or may not make sense to him, but your body language will send clear messages to him. Speak in a calm tone of voice and smile. Be gentle, and if physical touch is something your dad is used to, a little pat on the shoulder or holding of his hand may reassure h
4. Distract
Distraction is often very effective. You can ask him to eat a bite of dinner before he leaves, for example. You could also let him know that he may need to return to his room to grab his sweater or jacket before he leaves. Perhaps there's a football game on tv you can flip on when he returns with his sweater. Or, you can remind him that his friend Joe may be stopping by to chat with him so he may want to stay home for his visit.
5. Walk With Him
If it's a nice day, take a break from what you're doing and go with him. I realize that the timing may not always be ideal, but perhaps he simply needs to go for a walk. Take your cell phone with you before you leave in case he's unwilling to come back home with you or is too tired to walk any further.
What if it's cold or raining out and your father still is agitated and determined to go outside?
Grab a jacket for both of you, go outside and walk with him. I've seen many people with Alzheimer's walk for a brief time outside, turn to their loved one who came out with them and say, "Let's go inside. It's cold out here!" Again, take your cell phone or notify someone that you're going for a walk with him.
5 Strategies to Employ:
1. Ask Him Questions In A Non-Threatening Manner
Ask him how you can help and where he's going. Perhaps he's just a bit restless and unsettled. Maybe he'll respond with an answer that will give you insight into what he's looking for or where he wants to go.
2. Don't Argue
It's almost universally not helpful to argue with someone with dementia who is intent on doing something. Arguing will likely increase his agitation because in his reality, what you're saying doesn't make any sense. Rather, just talk with him and validate3 his feelings. For example, if he is talking about needing to go to work, ask him about his job. You can ask him what he liked the most about his job, or talk about the benefits of retirement.
3. Remember Your Non-Verbals
If you're standing there with your hands on your hips and a frustrated look on your face, you'll have less success in persuading your loved one to do anything. The words that you speak may or may not make sense to him, but your body language will send clear messages to him. Speak in a calm tone of voice and smile. Be gentle, and if physical touch is something your dad is used to, a little pat on the shoulder or holding of his hand may reassure h
4. Distract
Distraction is often very effective. You can ask him to eat a bite of dinner before he leaves, for example. You could also let him know that he may need to return to his room to grab his sweater or jacket before he leaves. Perhaps there's a football game on tv you can flip on when he returns with his sweater. Or, you can remind him that his friend Joe may be stopping by to chat with him so he may want to stay home for his visit.
5. Walk With Him
If it's a nice day, take a break from what you're doing and go with him. I realize that the timing may not always be ideal, but perhaps he simply needs to go for a walk. Take your cell phone with you before you leave in case he's unwilling to come back home with you or is too tired to walk any further.
What if it's cold or raining out and your father still is agitated and determined to go outside?
Grab a jacket for both of you, go outside and walk with him. I've seen many people with Alzheimer's walk for a brief time outside, turn to their loved one who came out with them and say, "Let's go inside. It's cold out here!" Again, take your cell phone or notify someone that you're going for a walk with him.
(Sources: By Esther Heerema, About.com Guide, Updated December 01, 2011)
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