FACING DIFFICULT TIMES

From time to time I receive updates from families on their journey with Alzheimer's. What follows is a letter I received from a care-giving wife during a difficult period. This piece may feel uncomfortable to read; however, the writer's open and sincere words remind us all that we are not alone.

I am sending the latest progress report with a very heavy heart. My husband Rob is having catastrophic outbursts every time I try to bathe him. This happens in the morning when I get him dressed, and it happens in the evening but less often. At the present time, I have morning help from a strong gentle male nursing student along with the staff at day care he attends. But even with three of us, it is almost impossible to get him into the shower.

I am learning not to push Rob to do anything he doesn't want to do. I let him sleep in the mornings and I sponge him off rather than using the shower. He sleeps in his clothes at night or spends the day in his pajamas. In every other instance he is his calm, gentle self but when someone tries to change his clothes he can become like a caged animal, wild-eyed and ferocious.
He has dreams or hallucinations at night. It appears like he is talking to someone in the room. Rob does not seem upset by this presence and sometimes he wakes up laughing.

I am way past tired and I'm a little scared. I realize the time has come for Rob to be moved to the Alzheimer's Unit. In a way, it is a relief to come to this realization because I never knew how I could make the decision. But now, even with help, I can no longer care for him at home.

I was shocked today to get a call that there is a space for Rob and he can move to the Alzheimer's Unit on FRIDAY. As you can imagine we are feeling all sorts of mixed emotions! Of course, I am feeling deep sadness and regret. However, I do know that I did the best I could ... and so did Rob!

Source : By Angela Lunde